The Most Important Step to Getting Unstuck
Why is it that we ignore the truth? Or even hide from it? You had an inkling that the person wasn’t who they appeared to be, but you got involved anyway – now you feel stuck trying to get out of the relationship. You knew instinctively it was not time to buy that thing you just knew you had to have, but you wanted it, so you got it. Now, you’re stuck with the bill, and it is causing problems. You didn’t want to take on that project. In fact, your stomach turned when you were asked to do it, but your people-pleasing personality led you to say “yes,” and now you’re stuck, resentful and completely overwhelmed! You knew that wasn’t the right career path for you, but out of fear or insecurity or bowing to what others might think, you chose it anyway. To be clear, I don’t say any of this to beat you up. I say it so we can start this journey in a place of honesty.
The first step to getting unstuck is a simple one: Tell yourself the truth. And behave based on that truth. It is easier said than done. Telling the truth and acting on it ruffles people’s feathers. It may make you quite unpopular. It will make you uncomfortable at times. But nothing gets more people stuck than ignoring that still, small voice that persistently speaks if only we will listen.
Telling yourself the truth is bold. It is a simple act, but one of the most courageous. And it will set you free and on a path to a life that is absolutely unstoppable. Answer some simple, but bold questions:
What are you afraid to admit?
What are you really afraid will happen if you take action?
Whose approval are you so afraid of not gaining that you forego your dreams, your wisdom and your freedom?
What do you avoid for fear of facing the consequences of change?
And what would you have to let go of in order to move towards the life God imagined for you?
I realize these aren’t easy questions, but I believe the answers lie within you and they are so powerful, that when you answer them truthfully, your next steps begin to unfold in a big way. You can run from them or ignore them, but they are not going away. That’s the power of having the courage to tell the truth.
Truth awakens you from the deep slumber of lies. In pretending we don’t hear the voice of the Holy Spirit or resisting the guidance of that voice, we get to live a lie. “God, did you say this man I’m dating is not ‘the one’? That couldn’t be you. We’ve been together too long. I’ve invested too much. If I don’t stay with him, then what? I’ll be alone again. I’ll never meet anyone else. God, that can’t be you. No, that wasn’t you. I’m going to stick with what I have.” And more years progress and the relationship doesn’t. You feel stuck.
Or maybe it’s not the relationship. Maybe it is your money habits. You know you need to be a better steward, speak up and negotiate what your contributions are worth, but the idea of doing so scares the dickens out of you. You imagine yourself groveling for a better salary and being thrown out of her office or telling the dealership you want a better price and they laugh in your face. “No!” you imagined being yelled at with disgust. “Who does she think she is?!” And so, you are quiet. You don’t just want a better deal or higher pay, you need it. But feelings of insecurity may lead you to pretend all is well financially, even when it is not.
Truth telling takes courage. But if you are to be free and live the amazing life you were created for, it is necessary. Embrace the truth of what you know deep down and you take the first step towards becoming unstoppable.
Valorie Burton is a bestselling author, speaker, and life coach dedicated to helping people get unstuck and be unstoppable in every area of life. She is founder of The Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute and has served as a Certified Personal and Executive Coach to hundreds of clients in over 40 states and ten countries. She has authored 8 books including: Successful Women Think Differently, and Your 5-minute Personal Coach. Visit Valorie’s website: ValorieBurton.com