Art of Forgiveness
forgiveness an art? Yes. It takes a lot of time
to discipline your character to actually forgive
others. All of us have someone we don't like.
Some of us may even have people we hate and want
to see dead.
of mine married a man who abused her mentally and physically.
The only thing that got her out of this situation was when
she gave birth to her daughter. The great love she had for
her baby opened her eyes to realizing just how "sick"
her husband was. When he began abusing the child, she loved
her daughter so much that she risked her life to save her
from a life of turmoil and left her husband.
lady I knew was brutally raped when she was still a virgin
at 22 years of age. The rapist cut her so badly that she was
left sterile for life and underwent years of mental therapy
for this one incident alone.
are many more stories I could relate to you of experiences
I have lived through myself or with others, but you can understand
why both these women "hate" the men who abused them.
It's understandable and anybody would certainly feel sorry
for them. How could either one of them forgive these men?
It would be impossible, right? In fact, it would be sociably
unacceptable to forgive them.
fact remains that these women must forgive these men. However,
forgiving them does not mean they will form a friendship with
the men who abused them or take them back into their world.
Forgiveness just means that they would erase the "hate"
within themselves and stop living a life of torment and pain.
with a mom and dad who lose a child from a kidnapping, rape
and murder. Personally, I would try and seek the person out
and give them the same treatment they inflicted on my child.
I would certainly want revenge! However, revenge and turmoil
would eat at my soul. These emotions would engulf my daily
life until I carried out my revenge.
understandable in these situations, these emotions are not
good to have - especially for long periods of time. You'll
eventually end up destroying your nerves, making life hard
for loved ones around you and dying sad and miserable because
you didn't get your revenge - or did you?
examples may be extremes but they happen. How about the woman
who cheats on her husband one time? The guy that borrowed
$10 and never repaid it? The mother-in-law who called you
a moron? The thief that turned out to be your brother? Should
you carry around a grudge against them forever? Should you
continually be looking for ways to "get back" at
them and ruin your self-worth in the process?
someone is NOT bowing down to them. We concentrate on blocking
the individual's actions from our minds completely (and normally
this requires help from God). If we forget about getting revenge
and carrying around hate - we will establish peace within
ourselves and not suffer the mental state inflicted upon us
by seeking revenge and hate.
a woman that married a man who turned out to be a gambler
in the early 1920's. When the children were little she had
to beg food and clothing from neighbors because he would gamble
his paycheck away every week. Since welfare or job opportunities
for women did not exist at the time, she chose to stay in
this environment until her children were raised and grown.
though, she became a very bitter and hateful woman. She passed
these feelings on to her children who passed them on to their
children. This grandmother never trusted men again and spent
her life never making a friend, never getting close to anyone
and demanding that everyone around her be perfect and pity
her for the great trials she had endured. In other words,
because this women was not able to forgive and work on eliminating
the memory from her life - she inflicted pain on countless
members of the family.
all her hatred worthwhile? She died a very lonely old woman
only comforted by a nurse at the hospital. And only a few
people were sad to see her die. Others looked upon it as a
"relief." What did she gain? Did her husband suffer?
He sure did.
grew older he found that nobody really loved him or would
be a friend to him unless he had money to gamble with. When
he was left penniless, nobody was there to care about him.
He died a lonely man and suffered greatly for the pain he
had inflicted upon his wife. He saw his mistakes a little
too late and suffered for many years in a hospital room before
finally dying. And while he lay there in that hospital bed,
waiting to die, he had all the time in the world to look back
at his life and be faced with the memories of how hard he
had made life for his wife and children. The past met him
face-to-face but he was dying and could not go back and change
things. He hated himself and felt grief over what he had done.
I was visiting a relative in a nursing home and kept hearing
a lady down the hall screaming at the top of her lungs. The
nurses would give her a shot to try and calm her down or make
her sleep, because every time she was conscious, she would
do nothing but scream. After a couple visits I became friends
with one of the nurses. I asked her what was wrong with this
lady and if she had a physical ailment. The nurse told me
that the lady had been a prostitute and married a man, had
two children, but left them when they were small to continue
in her profession.
the husband was injured during the war he was unable to properly
provide for them and one of the children died as a direct
result of her leaving. Now that she was old, she finally realized
the pain she inflicted unnecessarily on her husband and children
and the true love she missed out on.
grew older she saw that none of the men she gave her body
to really cared for her. They wouldn't even say "hello"
to her on the street much less love her. The child that survived
didn't want anything to do with her and her husband certainly
didn't want her back. Now that she was old, she was unwanted,
unloved and miserable. She continually screamed because the
turmoil and a bad past had engulfed her soul. Two weeks later
this old woman died.
you want revenge, try to work on blocking the actions of another
person out of your mind completely so hate doesn't engulf
you and those around you. With patience, you will see the
person (who did you wrong) getting paid back for their sins.
It's inevitable! Their own actions will cause them to miss
the mark, fail at relationships and be torn up inside from
turmoil, unrest and loneliness. And these things are much
more detrimental than anything you could do to them - ever!
Always remember that God is fair, but only in His own time!
article was written by author, Victoria Ring. To contact
Victoria personally, write to her at PO Box 09654, Columbus
OH 43209-0654, or email firstname.lastname@example.org
or visit her website at http://victoriaring.com